BUMMER! Is FEAR holding you back AGAIN?

Want to know a SECRET? … I’m actually PETRIFIED of writing.

Ever since becoming a mother I had a severe case of ‘mummy brains’. For you guys out there and yet to be mothers, ‘mummy brains’ are when your smart cells and memory liquefy into slush that resembles ‘The Wiggles’ and ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’.

I would think, “Come on Anna…I used to be smart, I used to be teacher for goodness’ sake… WHY am I having so much trouble articulating what I want to say?”

I went from lecturers commending the high standard of my writing, to standing at my husband’s law firm social events dumb founded because I had forgotten how to string words together into a sentence!

I even approached my Lupus specialist absolutely convinced my Lupus had worked its way to my brain and had attacked every living cell with some deadly dumbing solution. It was okay… I could finally accept my fate…I was turning into a non-intelligent life form (WAIL!)

So there I was, snuggled in my winter doona, shrinking in my comfy cave from the world.  I reached out to read the third ‘The Hunger Games’ book… IT WASN’T THERE! By some twist of fate my three year old had pulled it out of my bag and left it at my parents’ house.

Instead I picked up the next best option – a book gathering dust titled ‘THINK and GROW RICH’ from Napoleon Hill. Randomly opening the book, I fixed my eyes on a section describing FEAR as our WORST enemy.

I asked myself, “WHAT IS FEAR?  What is this MENACE that keeps reappearing with the ability to PARALYSE?”

 

I sifted through memories of acronyms I had heard in the past:

FALSE

EVIDENCE

APPEARING

REAL

Of course, there was the OTHER favourite …    “F*** EVERYTHING AND RUN!”

 

It was Dr Demartini’s definition of FEAR which really helped to break down this menace:

FEAR is the ASSUMPTION that in the NEAR or FAR FUTURE, you are going to EXPERIENCE….MORE PAIN than pleasure, MORE NEGATIVES than positives, MORE LOSSES than gains, MORE CHALLENGE than support from self or other(s)”.

FEAR was reacting as though the worst scenario, e.g. being humiliated, failing or being judged, had ALREADY OCCURRED.  It wasn’t REALITY, it was a PERCEPTION.

 

It made me recall a conversation with a friend at a party early this year. He had started a new job which involved each employee presenting research. He had ANXIETY and STRESS thinking about presenting to an audience of EXPERTS in the field who KNEW MORE than he did.

Furthermore, he was already anticipating criticism especially from one particularly negative colleague ready to ‘tear him down’. This FEAR made him suffer for days. When he tried to work he was unproductive. Days were counting down and he was PARALYSED!

Familiar with that feeling I said, “So you have put yourself through a week of suffering thinking about humiliation – that HASN’T actually happened?” He agreed.

I asked what the worst scenario would be, would it matter if that happened?  What could he do to overcome the fear? Instead of panicking and picturing the worst, he said taking action would give him greater confidence and a better chance at a damn good presentation. He left with determination rather paralysis.

FEAR holds us back from living an INSPIRATIONAL LIFE. Dr Demartini says when we are on the boundary of the KNOWN and UNKNOWN, fear emerges.

 

So there I was again, back in my bed cave in my own personal crisis, reading my Napoleon Hill book with greater insight … Then I read the words that CHANGED my LIFE:

“FEAR, the WORST of ALL enemies, can be effectively CURED through forced REPETITION of ACTS of COURAGE”. – Napoleon Hill

It was so simple. CURE FEAR WITH REPEATED ACTS OF COURAGE

What were my FEARS?  Communicating and writing because I perceived myself as ‘dumb’, as well as putting my written work out there for the world to read,  in fear of ridicule, rejection and humiliation.

So what did I do? TARGET the fear with an ACT of COURAGE.

I started writing. Writing about what inspired me and what improved my life. I still had the doubts, “Who do you think you are sharing this rubbish with the world?”

Nevertheless I thought, what was the worst that could happen? No one would read it and people could laugh at me. Did that really matter to me? Not really. Would facing my fear help me live a more inspired life? YES

I took that STEP…and the feeling was EXHILARATING! I’m not a great writer… but I’m learning. My daughter’s cheeky little act made me face a fear I harboured for the past three YEARS. Today I’m still afraid but that feeling isn’t stopping me from my goals. I feel the FEAR…but I DO IT ANYWAY.

That LITTLE act of courage is now OPENING DOORS to LARGER DREAMS and GOALS. I’ve always wanted to be an author and BEHOLD -   I’m currently working on two books – YES – stay tuned!

“You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” – Dale Carnegie

 

REMEMBER, EVERY TIME YOU FACE A FEAR:

-   You enter into a new realm and DISCOVER a new dimension of yourself which you never thought you had – e.g. a new talent or new ability, etc…

 

-   You LIVE a more INSPIRED life – A LIFE with VITALITY. Your inspired destiny or purpose becomes clearer.

 

-   YOU ARE CHANGING THE WORLD!  By CHOOSING NOT to SHRINK but to SHINE you are contributing to the life of many people around the world. Whether you realise it or not, every action of yours can change the course of someone else’s life.

 

Ask yourself:

1. What is one fear that is holding you back in your life?

e.g. fear of being judged, humiliated, rejected, failing, not being good enough, being abandoned, fear of being broke, fear of the unknown, not being good looking enough.

 

2. What is the worst that could happen? Would it REALLY matter if this occured?   How would you benefit if the worst happened?   Dr Demartini says there can be no losses without gains in life. By finding the benefits in the worst scenario, we can actually DISSOLVE fear.

E.g. people reject my writing– benefits could be more determination to learn and improve writing skills.

E.g. failing in a business venture – benefits could be more wisdom and knowledge for the next business venture. The most successful entrepreneurs gained their knowledge and skills from their greatest failures.

 

3. What is ONE ACT of COURAGE you can take to CONQUER this fear?

NOW DO IT! Remember, procrastination and lack of action allows FEAR to GROW

 

Everyone experiences FEAR, even the most SUCCESSFUL people in the world. It’s what you do with the FEAR that makes the difference.

If you still have a fear that you can’t break through contact me anna@valuelifecoaching.com to find out how Life Coaching may help you.

 

Want to know 5 simple steps to help you experience more joy in  your life? Register on this page to find out more.

 

 

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