Do you LOVE yourself?

Do you love yourself?


Have you ever looked in the mirror and told yourself “I love YOU”?

I tried it myself a few years ago and nearly felt sick. I wasn’t the only one. The truth is most people feel quite uncomfortable telling themselves that they love who they are.

The moment you try to get those words out self-judgement begins to counter attack you, “Your nose is too big”, “You’re too fat”, “You’re skin is terrible”, “You’re NOT good enough” “You’re not smart enough”, “You’re a terrible mother”, “No one could ever love you”, etc…

I must admit, I’m a pro when it comes to doing this.


So why is it so difficult to love who you are just as you are?


When I attended the Hay House Conference back in August, Robert Holden author of Shift Happens, struck me in his presentation. One of the points he brought forth was something I had heard before but somehow it had deeper meaning.

He spoke about how every person has an ‘unconditioned self’ and a ‘learned self’.

The ‘unconditioned self’ is our true identity and the essence of who we really are. Our true self comes from God or a higher power which is perfect so it means we are already perfect.

Our ‘learned self’ is the part of us that wears a mask, doubts, doesn’t trust and criticises us. This is the self that goes searching for a better version of ourselves not realising we are already perfect as we are.

Holden went on to say that when we lose sight of who we really are, we think we have problems.

To truly heal ourselves is to accept there is nothing wrong with us. There’s a miracle in self-acceptance.


The MORE you accept yourself the MORE everything in your LIFE improves.


So how do you begin the healing process of accepting yourself?

I have also been so fascinated with Louise Hay’s book You can Heal Your Life and have been doing her very practical exercises for the past months (I highly recommend it if you want to turn your life around and start loving who you are).

In her book, she talks about her experience in helping many people with addictions, sicknesses, fears and traumas. She found that the source root of all the problems was lack of loving oneself. She used to work at treating the symptoms, for example giving up an addiction to drinking. However, found that without addressing the root, another symptom would come up.

From her experience, she learned that when she taught people to love who they were, all the other problems resolved themselves.


How do you talk to your inner child?


Imagine yourself as a frightened 3 year old chid. How are you talking to that child?

Are you saying “You’re NO GOOD!” are you giving negative messages to yourself? Would you ever talk to your own children in the way you talk to yourself?

I realised I was doing this 99% of my day. I was being horrible to my inner child. How could I possibly grow by berating myself?

So I followed Louise Hay’s tips and wrote a page of loving affirmations to say to myself in front of the mirror every day. At first  it felt strange but more and more each day I found myself beginning to accept more lovingly who I am.

Instead of saying, “You write terribly Anna” I catch myself and say kindly, “You did well Anna. In the future with more practice you’ll be an expert!”


Louise says, even if you can’t think of anything, start by saying “I approve of myself” 500 times a day. Believe it or not, you are able to say negative messages to yourself 500 times a day too.


“Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.” – Louise Hays


Another tip which I tried is to write down everything you say to yourself that is negative and flip it around.

For example:

“No one will ever love me” can be changed to “I am lovable, I love myself”

“I never have money, I can’t afford anything” – “I am always prosperous”

“People in the world are out to get me” – “People are always generous and willing to help”

When I started saying the affirmation “People are always generous and willing to help” I noticed that the most generous and helpful strangers started popping up into my life.


Another exercise I love from Louis is completing this sentence:

“I love myself, therefore….”

You can finish this sentence in as many ways you can. Write out the affirmations and say them in front of the mirror.

I was particularly scared to enter my book proposal in a competition. Saying “I love myself, therefore I can succeed in anything” gave me the courage to take the first step.

Part of loving yourself is forgiving people in your life who have hurt you and releasing them, including yourself. This is a whole other chapter in itself.



Remember, because we are creatures of habit, it requires daily practice to turn our negative self-talk into loving self-acceptance. Keep trying and you will form new beliefs about yourself.


“Be kind to yourself. Begin to love and approve of yourself.” – Louise Hays

Finish with this exercise:

  1. Look into the mirror in your own eyes and say ‘I love you’. If this is really embarrassing, do it when no one is around.
  2. What feelings, thoughts or words come up for you?
  3. If they are negative, how can you tell these negative thoughts to go away?

“Love is always the answer to healing of any sort.” – Louise Hays


Have a great week!


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